Chris Osborne Fanfiction Draft

Chris Osborne Fanfiction Draft

Jane By Design (Tv Series 2012)

Enough With The Lies   

“So how was Beverly Hills?" Ben asked. "As fun as Paris?" he said, showing a picture he had found of his sister Jane under the Eiffel tower. Her heart sank.

"Where did you get that?"

"I went in to your room to see if you were there, and found it lying around. You need to stop lying. What is going on, Jane?" Ben said.

Jane sighed. "Well, what do you want to know?"

“I want to know the truth. I went in to your work the other day and spoke with some guy who said you were in Beverley hills attending a meeting.” 

Jane sighed, patting the couch beside her. Her brother sat next to her, ready to listen.

"Okay. You know how i had an interview with Donovan Decker for my internship? Well Grey who is the director of the company got confused and thought i was there for the executive assistant position. I got the job on the spot and i was going to tell her the truth, but…"
"Yes?" Ben urged her.

Jane rolled her eyes and started to explain. “I only took the position because, that was when you didn't have a job. And we really needed the money, and Grey offered me $34,000 salary, and I just… I couldn't turn her down. So, ever since then I've been running around the city, leaving school early and getting Billy to drop me off. I would quit or even tell them the truth, but i can’t!” Jane said, looking at her brother with innocent eyes.  "This is all I’ve ever wanted to do with my life. This job just came, out of the sky landing itself in my lap, and if i tell them the truth about me, i may never find a way back into the fashion industry.”

Ben looked at Jane, feeling sorry for her. He loved his sister, but he needed to punish her so that she knows that she can’t just keep lying to him like that. If he made her give up this job, she would never forgive him. He sighed. "Jane, you're only seventeen. It feels like your growing up to fast, I have a job now so i can afford to pay the bills.”

Jane bit her lip. "But, this isn’t about the money anymore! It's my dream job and you know it. I am not keeping it because we don't have any money. I'm keeping it because I love it! Please don't make me give it up!" she pleaded.

Ben sat there a moment. "You do realize I have to punish you. You're my little sister. It's my responsibility to take care of you. You can't just run around the city pretending to be an adult!"

Jane sat back, guilt bubbling in her chest. "I'm so sorry, Ben! Ground me, take away my phone, my computer, just, please, don't make me give up this job!"

Ben decided to drag the conversation along more. “Hmm so what makes you think that you deserve the right to keep the job? You lied to me and i don’t like liars, it’s going to be very hard for me to trust you now.”

Jane stood up and started to cry. “Why do you have to treat me like this Ben? Just because i lied to you once doesn’t mean i will lie to you again. I had a legit reason behind my lies and i just explained the reason why, but it looks like you don’t give a shit.”

Ben stands up in anger. “Excuse me do a need to remind you who the adult is in the family? Don’t you give me attitude, i know I’m your brother but i am also your legal guardian since dad left. So if i were you i would just sit down and shut up.”

Ben takes in a deep breath and calms himself down. “Oh and by the way I was just kidding around with you. Do you really think i would take away your dream job from you? That would just be insane and unfair. I understand your reason and it’s alright but I’m still angry at the fact that you lied to me about it.”

 Ben sighed and pointed at Jane. “You’re grounded for two weeks. No partying, or going out for anything other than work. And when you go out for work, you tell me where you are going and don't do anything illegal or that you know you shouldn't do. I will let you keep your phone but not the computer. You should be considering yourself lucky that i am being nice to you.”

Jane screams. "What? Are you serious? Please tell me you’re not lying? You don’t know how much this means to me, i love you so much, thank you, and I’m so sorry for being rude i was just upset.”

Ben then gets ready to drop Jane off to school and waits for her while she packs her bag. 

Rebecca Mahoney Fanfiction Draft 2

Days of Heaven (1978) Directed by Terrence Malick

The Golden Hour

In the exhale of day, they swam together in the caramel light. Soon dusk would evade them; a day closer to a freedom which was now tangible like silk cords tugging at their fingertips. Entwined they lay  tracing each other's palms and fingerprints; restless wheat tossing ever-lengthening shadows across their noiseless bodies. Overhead a kestrel soared, its haunting call encircling the farm.

Abby fingered a crack in her right boot, the leather parched and worn like the ground beneath it.

"I'll get new pairs now.
Linda too.
Matchin' gloves.
From the city an' such."

Bill said nothing, his brow furrowed as he pulled seeds from the ears of wheat between his legs. The eruption of chattering sandpipers on the bank eventually broke the silence. Bill rose and brushed the soil off his trousers. It had been a dry summer in the Panhandle.

"This hole's gon' take all night if we don' crack it now.

I'm damned if we'll hang 'round for me to get caught with a spade in ma' hands." 

The golden hour had been a period of reflection before. Smooth waves of light flowed like river currents along their thoughts and soliloques. To marry or not to marry? To murder or not to murder? Sunset had almost escaped their desperate grasp, leaving in her wake a trail of flickering counterparts. Above their darkening heads, a silhouetted flock of birds flew in formation towards the farmhouse. 

Abby spoke.

"Do you think he'd like it if we let him lay there with his crops a lil' longer?"

Over Bill's shoulder the Farmer lay still and lifeless, his remains crudely rolled in the parlour rug. Suffocation had done no favours for the Farmer's postmortem appearance; trademark bruising to his neck and dull bloodshot eyes pointed to his untimely departure. Bill shuddered and turned to face Abby, her own complexion ashen. He pressed her face against his shoulder and they stood together, listening to eachother breath.

"We need t' finish what we started. Linda's gon' start to worry soon enough."

Nodding, Abby stepped back from their embrace and picked up one of the spades. She raised the handle above her head and plunged the face into the earth. Crisp and thirsty, the soil cleanly parted and she heaved the spadeful away behind her. Again and again, Abby repeated this until her bloodless arms gave up. They dug in silence, the velvet night time encasing their fear and racing minds.

Mariah's FanFiction Review No. 5

Second Place

This is a sweet short story, that makes light of Callie and Arizona's relationship and the trials they are faced with regarding their new daughter Sophia. Hooked up to tubes and wires, it is clear that Sophia is in a somewhat critical condition. The author manages to create a sweet and lighthearted story out of an originally dramatic and dark plot line, giving readers an opportunity to see the bright side. The story is entertaining and includes enough to detail to be interesting, but not too much to make it a drag to read. I enjoyed reading it.

Mariah's FanFiction Review No. 4

What we didn't know

This story was way too confusing and badly written. In Grey's Anatomy, George dies, and in this story he seems to fake his death and run away to the army, its not very clear. In the last chapter the author talks about James Sanders who seems to be George's new alter ego or something along those lines, however the author is very unclear about who he is and what his purpose is. The chapters are all so short and underdeveloped, so I don't really understand why the author even bothered. Just saying.   

Mariah's FanFiction Review No. 3

Just a Happy Accident

I thought this story was sweet because I have always liked Meredith and Alex as characters, although the thought of them getting together and having a child is a little bit crazy. They are both very unstable characters, as are most of the characters in Grey's Anatomy.

The story itself is very fast paced. Part one find out Alex and Meredith have sex. Part two they have sex again after discussing the sex from part one. Then finally in part three its suddenly one year later and Meredith is 6 weeks pregnant with Alex's child. Also, in part three we find out that he has moved into her room, they have been seeing each other all year and they are in love.

The story develops way to quickly for my liking, as personally I enjoy details throughout stories, and I think too many have been overlooked and rushed.

Mariah's FanFiction Review No. 2

It All Started with the Elevator

This story was not particularly original. It basically followed the story line of Grey's Anatomy, as far as Mark and Addison's relationship goes. The whole elevator idea is, I suppose, exciting for the characters, however considering the length of the story itself, I don't think its a strong enough plot line or to base the entire fanfic around. Their relationship is extrememly complicated and to try and develop it in just 3 chapters is a bit of push.

Farheen's review 2, 3, 4, 5

Two years Past. millennium snow

This story follows the original manga storline with the same characters. The story is told from the point of view of the two main characters in the book chiyuki and toya, it flicks between both of the characters
the story is nicely set out easy to understand
I think it was very intersting, it created a new view on the relationship of chiyuki and toya, making the reader wonder what will happen if chiyuki has a memory loss. Deals with how Toya feels by chiyuki's rejection.
Also tells how Toya's feelings for chiyuki doesnt change just because Chiyuki forgot about him , he still cares for her safety and still loves her.

Overall I really liked this story, it was quite easy to grasp

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6841624/1/In_a_country_of_Snow

In a country of Snow: This is a fanfic poem based on the story of millennium snow manga. the poem has the two main characters. Throughout the poem the author describes the two main characters of the story, giving their physical appearances.
this poem is very easy to understand, butits quite boring and not very original, i didnt like this poem because it did not seem like a poem to me.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6086986/1/Kanata_Kara_Gaiden

From Far away: This fanfic is a story based on the manga names from far away. which tells the story of Noriko and Izark. Noriko's journey in Izarks world, continuing the story after Izark defeats Rachef,
This danfic is very nicely written, the story is very nice, its very easy to follow what the writer is tryong to portray. It actually felt like i was reading the manga, not a story. it continued to use most of the main character from the original story.
The story is told from the pount of view of Izark and Noriko. The only problem is its not really clear when the narrator of the story switchs, otherwise its a very enjoyable story.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7872918/1/Meet_My_Husband_The_Cat

This fanfic is based on the manga named Vampires Knight. This fan fic is little bit original, as it has the two main characters married with a child. It also goes further to develop the story by changing the main character Zero, into cat. And then the wife Yuuki, trying to figure out how to change him back into his original vampire form.  The author had nicely separated different section, so it made it easy for the reader to follow. I really enjoyed this story. A very fun read, different from the original usually gloomy story.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6323239/1/Epiphany

This fanfic is based on the manga named Mugen Spiral. This story goes beyond the 2 manga books, to where yayai decides to help Ura’s father. I found this story to be bit slow. The author took too long to get to the point and still the story didn’t get to where Yayoi actually helps the king. But overall the it was original to some point. I would have really enjoyed the story if the author had gotten to Yayoi helping the king rather then dragging the stoy for so long and still not getting to the point.